But...

Had I truly heard him right?  God, do you really want us to move?  My heart was slowly sinking more and more with the reality of leaving the area I had learned to call home.  I had beautiful friends and my routine.  Maybe I had misunderstood.  Maybe...


God had clearly orchestrated our plans.  Neither my husband or I could doubt where the source of our steps was coming from.  One decision after another lined up like a huge arrow, pointing us back to the place my husband had grown up.  We were so certain...but.  But was the trouble spot.

But God...
Are you sure you want us to be so far away from our oldest child?
How can we say good bye to a church we love and have grown in?
What about the home we had begun our life in as a family?
But God...


Each time I attempted to find a reason not to go, God gently reminded me of who he was and what he was asking of me:  obedience.  Obedience is such a hard word to swallow, especially in our culture where we feel like coming under authority is demeaning or an affront to our sense of self.  It is problematic to reject obedience when God wants to help us find our purpose and use our gifts.


Romans 12:2 reminds us, "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.  Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. (NLT)"  I had to allow God to change my attitude, thoughts, and mind.  Have you been there?  Perhaps you're experiencing a life change?  Dear friend, let's agree that change, any life change, is hard.  So hard.  Super hard...ok, enough said.


Soul searching and brutally honest prayer conveyed all of the deep fears and cares to God.  And God?  God changed everything.  Please don't think for a second it is possible to have a change of heart without the help of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God.  These are amazing sources of encouragement and wisdom to connect us to the source of life.  When we allow it, when we walked in obedience, God takes the worried, fearful, resistant thoughts and makes them new.   


My deep prayer today is whatever you are struggling with, whatever parts of your life are held within tightly clutched hands, will be given over to God.  Be honest with him.  Don't hold back, he is big enough for every word, tear, and barrier you can imagine.  I hope today is the day you will find solace in God, who wants to bring goodness and life.